Whenever a relationship breaks it is always the other part who did something wrong – right?
It wasn’t you.
It was her who was a bitch – right?
You want it all! Passion, Desire, Love, longlasting sex. But you do not have the guts to pay the price. You want to be intimate with our better half. At least until a certain point. And that point is where your defense mechanisms are activated. And your Ego knows if it goes further down the rabbit hole it means loss of control. Loss of your image of who you are. And this is dangerous. Or rather – it FEELS dangerous. But it really is not. Your Ego means to scare you and it leads you astray into a blame game.
At this point, the excuses start to manifest. And if you happen to go a little further anxiety will appear very subtle but you will cover it up and react with anger.
And the fights will start.
Two souls trying to defend an imaginary boundary often by attacking each other.
If you are one of these very few men who want to stand your ground – not in relation to your woman – only in relation to your Ego, and even conquer new land, you probably heard about meditation as well as tantra.
Maybe you even have the guts to confront your own fears but don’t know what to do. Meet them head-on in a lethal fight where your only (and best) weapons are your focus, presence, and perseverance.
Maybe you don’t know this. You are able to focus so intensely that fear can’t control you. This is a masculine quality, but women can do it too. And it would certainly be preferable if both parts have the desire to deepen the relationship as it will not be possible to open your heart to the higher stages of love and presence (and light) if you do not work together.
We tend to believe that it is the darkness we are afraid of. But no. It is the light! The reason why I mention light is you need this light when you go into the darkness to spread consciousness. The light is a carrier for the highest love and the only purpose of Light is to dissolve darkness and bring Love. Nothing else. Mastering the light makes you in charge of your Shadows! That is the worst thing that can happen to the Ego. No more place to hide! You are forced to take full responsibility for yourself, your needs, and even your perception of life!
It is not the darkness we are afraid of. Its the light.
In the beginning, you will not know what stops you. But rest assured it is yourself. Not your woman. But being together in this provides not the double amount of light but the power of two! (x2).
You need to talk. Talk about everything. You need to undress physically as well as emotionally. You need to drop the desire to defend your Ego. You gotta break habits!
Next time you make love to her for five or ten hours, ask her to tell you every little thing that happens inside her. Her feelings, emotions, sensations… everything. Make her trust you and make her open up to you. Lift her up and she will be able to reach for the Divine. Give her a chance to make her heart become one with the universe.
The depth of your meditation is equal to the level of intimacy in your relationship!
The deeper you go, the more intimate you get, the more you die! But the more you die the more you become your REAL self! Your ego knows that and that ‘s why the relationship is being sacrificed on the altar of deception in a mist of diversions and accusations.
If you really want this you need to disarm yourself totally. Listen to what she says. Do not defend anything. Listen to the feedback. Acknowledge her and thank her for being honest. And when she asks you for feedback you tell her from your heart what you see. What you feel. What you experience.
Your drive to defend yourself is the door and it is locked. The moment you stop arguing, stop defending who you believe you are the door will open and you will wind a bigger version of yourself. A more loving version and most important you will be able to FEEL more love than before. This means in reality you will feel more loved.
If you didn’t know it before you might be lucky enough to experience that Love is not something she gives to you. She can’t. She can Love you but it is ultimately HER feeling. So instead of expecting to receive Love from others, the flow of Love will turn 180 degrees and you might be able to tap into an infinite ocean of Love. A Love that is so big that there will be enough for every single sentient being forever!
Now you can set your woman free. You know you can’t demand Love from her. And shouldn’t! It was just an illusion. The only Love that exists comes from the Source within and you have to go through a number of locked doors to find it. Conquer your own dark wasteland of fear and unconscious habits. Use it to grow yourself!
And then you know!
Know what Love is!